


Sense of Place

by amonkeysue



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov-centric, Post-Avengers (2012), Self-Reflection, small bits of other characters but mostly Natasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 23:45:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17253626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amonkeysue/pseuds/amonkeysue
Summary: With the Battle of New York done and the members of the Avengers having gone their separate ways, Natasha finds herself with some unexpected time of nothing to do. Unused to sitting still, she takes the time to do a bit of physical and emotional venturing.





	Sense of Place

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this sitting around for a while, and in the interest of putting more Natasha-centric fics out there it seems right to share it!

Becoming a recognized hero overnight had made her temporarily unable to do her own job.

In light of how recently the so-called Battle of New York had occurred Fury had decided that SHIELD couldn’t risk the consequences of sending Clint or her on missions until they could definitively verify whether any decent quality pictures of their faces had been taken and shared. In the event that any showed up, they would do their best to scrub them, but in the digital age there was no guarantee.

She understood, but still made no effort to hide her frustration as she and Clint walked out of Fury’s temporary office.

“You tried, and we both know he’s only doing this for our own good. He wouldn’t be holding us back otherwise,” Clint softly reminded.

“So then what now?” she replied, her voice sharper than intended and her fingernails slightly digging into her palms from clenched fists, “We’re not exactly used to staying still.”

“No, we’re not.” He paused, and she could immediately guess what he was going to say next. “And I don’t think we’re going to, just lying low for a bit. I’m-.”

“Don’t. Not right now.”

“Nat.”

She crossed her arms. “Barton. Not right now.”

He waited until they had left the base before telling her that he needed to be on his own for a little bit, just to sort out what all had happened with Loki.

Natasha knew he was going to be fine and that the timing worked. She knew that sometimes it was important to work these things out alone and that if nothing else, he was being practical, separating himself from anyone else to make sure Loki really was gone without causing any further damage.

She was somewhat surprised at the fact that it stung. Nothing too much, but just enough.

They had only talked so much about what had happened and that had been brief in of itself. She wanted to understand the full situation, to be right there for Clint if it turned out he did actually want someone to help him work through being brainwashed and what all had been fed into his head. On a practical level he knew that she had experience with moving on from such.

It was a bit petty, but she didn’t call him that first night to make sure he had safely gotten to the farmhouse. He was allowed to take his own path towards moving on, and she was allowed to express her frustration with being shut out after all their shared experience and the depth of their partnership.

Maria called the next morning, just to check if there was anything Natasha needed as she at least stuck around her New York apartment.

“Think you could even get me involved in clean up?” Natasha drily asked her.

“I think you’re one for something a bit more interesting than that. No offense.” Natasha could practically hear Maria’s small smile from the other end of the call. “Don’t tell me the Black Widow is suddenly against breaks.”

“Only the ones of unknown intervals.”

“Just don’t get bored and cause any incidents for us.”

She kept her tone light. “I already got the talk from Fury about avoiding my face being splashed on the cover of every news source and I do know how to keep my head down, you know.” After a moment’s pause she conceded, “Not that I entirely want to stay still right now.”

“You’ll survive,” Maria said.

Which she already knew full well. Natasha had always been good at surviving.

She tried doing her own research into how much the world knew about the members of the Avengers. As expected, Stark and Rogers were prominently featured in the discussion, followed by piecing together stories about Banner and the Hulk. Thor had plenty of speculation surrounding him, and she and Clint were still relative mystery figures, partially by virtue of when they got to the ground in the fight.

Mystery didn’t stop the gossip magazines from trying to concoct a story though, and she had to stop after yet another eye roll at a far reaching article.

At least any good shots of their faces didn’t seem to be spreading across social media. It was better to be shrouded in rumor for the sake of her occupation.

Assuming she could ever have it back.

Natasha stuck on a pair of shades and a brimmed hat just to be on the safe side before taking to the streets. Casually blending in with the other pedestrians came naturally as she walked along.

Clean-up from the Chitauri was going to take far more than a few days, but there were some areas where rebuilding projects had already begun. Information was plastered on every corner about the assorted fundraisers and service opportunities scattered across the city. Several of the posters were specifically attributed to Stark Charities.

Good for Tony.

She instinctively shifted away from view of the camera as someone pulled out their phone to take a selfie with a part of the Chitauri inflicted damage that was roughly on street level in the area. After a moment she was past the camera’s range and continued walking, momentarily reflecting yet again on Tony’s comment about how well the so-called Avengers had worked out when it counted.

‘Hero’ was not a word Natasha felt particularly inclined to call herself, let alone with a ‘super’ attached to the front, as the media had freely termed the Avengers in light of the attack. Even so, she couldn’t keep from admitting to herself that there was something intriguing about the team dynamic.

In the event of doing anything more with the Avengers it would definitely mean taking on a more public presence. The idea was… complicated to grapple with, to say the least.

Natasha briefly stopped her reflection as a young woman with a duffel bag hurried past. A design of entwined ballet shoes in a bright pink on the side of the bag almost immediately caught her attention. 

Out of some level of curiosity Natasha followed the young woman at a distance. She could never be entirely certain what all of her memories about ballet were real and which ones had been planted, but regardless of which she wouldn’t complain about a temporary distraction from thinking about what came next.

The young woman headed to what looked to be a relatively small studio, unlocking the door before stepping inside.

A relatively short wait later, and parents with elementary school aged children started showing up, walking their children inside the studio. Some of the children practically bounced on the way, happily going for the front door and hurrying inside.

Natasha crossed the street, taking the long way around to casually walk past the front of the studio. Behind the large pink letters spelling out its name, the various ballet students were scattered across the indoor area, some of them with their parental figure helping them to prep for their apparent lesson.

And normal life continued on.

She continued on past the studio, eventually looping around back to her apartment for the evening.

For the most part she was content to wait when the need arose, biding her time for someone to slip up or such in the context of an op. Hence why it felt a little off for her to feel so… restless. Unexpected things happened all the time in her line of work, she was more than capable of handling it and continuing on, had done so more times than she could count.

Aliens attacking, Clint’s kidnapping and being brainwashed, facing the Hulk should not have thrown her off, she was fairly certain. They hadn’t been anything she would have exactly predicted a month prior, but they weren’t impossible to take in stride or anything. She could handle it, keep on going forward.

Then again, she had herself said that it was all monsters and magic, nothing she had ever been explicitly trained for. It certainly was world changing, and some self-reflection and reevaluation was a natural consequence.

The world, universe even, was larger than she had imagined. Bigger than her, bigger than what she had ever heard of, but not daunting enough that she felt helpless before it.  
Working with a team to help handle that larger something out there, whatever forms it took, she found herself realizing she was willing to take on becoming a more public figure to freely combat it. She would always need her solo missions and falling back into her element so thoroughly, but being that hero… it would be worth it. Not only for the red in her ledger, but that hope she’d found in the reporting about the Avengers.

The Black Widow was something of a legend for several reasons. Natasha had fought and survived and worked herself to the person she was, and for that to finally mean hero?

She could live with that.


End file.
